Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
