my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
