I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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