that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
