Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
