Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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