I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My hand turned me down
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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