she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
