But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
