you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
