thus making me awesome and them whores
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
