Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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