I showed him my bush... on skype.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
