I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
