So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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