we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
