His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize