Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
