he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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