dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
