I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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