Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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