just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
