So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
