if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
