a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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