I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
