I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
