can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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