Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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