when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
