i'm signing you up for texting rehab
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
