I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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