He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
