My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
