I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize
