It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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