Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
