He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
