I bet he comes in French.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
