people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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