He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
