Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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