You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
