Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
