I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
