dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Never joke about your clitoris.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
