Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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