Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
