I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
