You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
