My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My ATM looks so different sober.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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